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I'm not (really) on social media

Jul 03, 2021

I’m not on social media.

What? Mel, I just saw one of your posts.

Yes, I post content because that’s where YOU are. But I’m not there. 

I’m not scrolling.

I’m not reading the comments.

I’m not checking to see how many likes my post got. 

Why?

1. Social media hurts my brain.

If I spend any amount of time scrolling, I feel like I just ate a bag of Doritos and and a sleeve of Oreos. I feel icky and then I have trouble concentrating for the rest of the day. If I scroll too much, I have trouble concentrating for several days. 

Songs get stuck in my head. 

Reels get burned into my mind. 

People’s anger disrupts my sleep.

2. I get addicted to it.

The more I check it… just to read the comments! Or just to check my DM’s! Or just for inspiration!… the more I want to check it. The more I find my phone in my hand when I’m winding down for the evening. The more I think, “I wonder what this influencer that I don’t know personally at all is up to?” (Why do I care!?)

3. I lose my own voice.

I’m a natural mimic and a trained actor. Every fiber of my being is trained to observe, analyze, and replicate. I’ll be in a consuming pattern and then look at my writing and think… “when did I start sounding so much like THAT person?” Or I’ll read my comments and worry that one person didn’t like what I had to say and so I’ll start thinking about how I can please everyone. (Um, not possible.)

4. I lead by example.

I’ve been working intimately with authors for over a decade. I’ve seen how many books haven’t been written because the author couldn’t stop scrolling. I’ve seen the struggle of an author who is receiving vitriol over the Netflix adaptation she didn’t write, but yet she still feels like she has to be on social. Or she feels like she has to apologize for taking a break. 

The thing I want to say to everyone is… want to write your book or build your course or “be more present?” Get off your phone.

 

I want to say… oh! I’m so strong! I can handle it. I can handle the input or the criticism and it doesn’t affect me at all. I’m still so productive! Look at how focused I am!

But I struggle to fight the brain chemistry.

I still want to write content for you and create courses and film videos that might help you. In order to do that to the best of my ability, I choose not to consume social media.

It is a choice. You can make it, too. 

If you want to learn more about the affect of social media on your brain, read DEEP WORK or DIGITIAL MINIMALISM, both by Cal Newport. Or run your own experiment… quit cold turkey for 2 weeks and see how you feel. The world won’t stop turning and if there’s an actual emergency, someone will call you.

 

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