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Keep Future You Out of the Spiral

joy less stress motivation positive impact May 22, 2021

Have you ever been in a spiral where one thing goes wrong and suddenly everything in your life is terrible?

For me, grief is a trippy place to be…

And I was fortunate to not have a visit from grief until I was 14 years old when my great grandma passed away at age 100. And by that point, who could argue that my Oma hadn’t lived a long, good life?

The first truly jarring loss was when my father-in-law passed away unexpectedly.

That was probably the first time I accepted help from others. The first time I truly realized…

It helps to hear from others that they are thinking about you or praying for you or sending you love and light and good vibes.

I clung to those words and cards and texts as I tried to support my husband during his walk through the valley of darkness.

The words of others were supporting me as I was supporting him.

That was a big moment for me in understanding how much words matter. How much a single person can make an impact. How saying, “I’m thinking about you,” can let someone know they aren’t alone.

Before my FIL’s passing, I always kept quiet. I never said anything to a friend who had lost a loved one, other than a quick, “I’m sorry” at the funeral. In my inexperienced brain, I thought, “I don’t want to say anything because I don’t want to trigger them.” As if they wouldn’t think about their loss if *I* didn’t bring it up!? (Silly, I know.)

Now, I know how much words can help.

But knowing that doesn’t mean I’ll remember the helpful comments when I need them. I could easily just file away all or delete all the messages of support I've received and never think about them again.

But what about when Future Mel needs a little support? What about when Future Mel decides everything is terrible?

That’s why I’m saving all of your messages and putting them in my journal.

We need reminders.

Have you ever been in a spiral where one thing goes wrong and suddenly everything is terrible?

Like you get a rejection of some kind (a bad review or your project doesn’t go as planned or your health starts to decline or your loved one says they don’t anymore)… and that one slip causes a landslide of doubt?

All of a sudden you’re all…

I’m a terrible writer.

I’ll never get my health back on track.

I’m a bad mom/wife/person.

I’ll never achieve my dreams. I think I’ll just quit now while I’m behind.

Has that ever happened to Past You?

Has Past You ever fallen into the cesspool of negative thoughts and doubts that live in your subconscious and gleefully spring to life at the first crack in your armor?

If it’s happened before, it can happen again.

That’s why I’m going to suggest you…

Do a favor for Future You and start saving those positive words from others.

Just like I’m saving all of your kind messages.

Maybe you start a notebook or journal or word document… maybe you start printing things and taping them to your wall. However you want to do it, just start.

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE

Start your Pride Book or Joy Book or Whatever You Want to Call It Book of positive, uplifting words Future You can read when you need a boost.

Especially in times of stress, we need reminders. Set Future You up for success and start saving them now.

Love,

Mel

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