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Life pushing you around? Read this.

focus goals joy self-care Jul 04, 2021

Mr. Jolly and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary on Friday. And one of my brothers is engaged, so I’ve got marriage on the brain. My new sister-in-law will be only the second person marrying into my family, so I’m feeling like the old married lady over here. And I like it. 

My grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary when I was in my 20’s.

At the time, I didn’t understand what an accomplishment that was. I thought it was great that they both lived long enough for that, but that it was a given that they would stay married.

Last year at this time, Mr. Jolly and I were already talking about how bad things were getting with Teen Son. He was becoming verbally abusive… we realized he was being manipulated by someone we couldn’t separate him from… we started to see the path we were on wasn’t going to be an easy one… and we did something that was so important.


We sent an intention.


No matter what happens, we come out of this with our marriage.

As we continued in our journey with Teen Son, we used this intention as a touch point. If we didn’t agree on a parenting decision, found a way to compromise because no matter what… we come out of this with our marriage.

When Teen Son tried to divide us, it didn’t work because… we come out of this with our marriage.

As we each grapple with how our lives are different now that he’s gone, we’re putting extra effort into communication and empathy because… we come out of this with our marriage.

Please hear me when I say I’m not trying to give you marriage advice. You can take it if you want, but here’s what I want you to get out of this:


When you set an intention, it informs your choices going forward.


This is why I’m always going on about getting clarity on who you’re becoming… who is Future {{first_name}}? It’s my way of getting you to set some intentions.

It’s why when I teach a class, I often leave a space in the workbook for you to answer the question, “Why are you here today? What do you want out of this class?”

It’s why I built an 8-week DIY coaching program… so I could compile my best questions into 100+ pages of power sheets to get you to set some dang intentions!


Not only do intentions inform your choices, but when you decide who you want to become, the Universe conspires to make it true. 


Several years ago, I set intentions to become an educator, coach, and leader. I feel like God heard me and said:

Okay, Mel, you said you wanted those things and that means you’re going to have to become stronger. Here we go. I’m going to make you stronger.

If declare your intentions, don’t be surprised when things get unexpectedly difficult… If you’re intending to be a different (and truer) version of you, that’s going to mean change and change is UNcomfortable. But it’s worth it.

That’s the whole point… the intention gets you where you want to go.


Intentions help you become 5-Star Future You.


It’s not just about big decisions, either. Most of our changes come about from small, consistent habits.  



Set an intention. It can be for any area of your life… your health, your relationships, your personal growth, your spiritual life.  Decide: “No matter what, I’m __________.”

No matter what, I’m focusing on my health.

No matter what, I’m going to be an empathetic partner.

No matter what, I’m going to finish this dang book.

Got it?

You can do this, {{first_name}}. I believe in you.



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