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Stressing? Read this.

joy less stress productivity Jun 13, 2021

Have you ever found yourself worrying about something you have absolutely zero control over? Like the weather? Or whether or not your chiropractor is pregnant?

That second one is me right now. I literally had a stress dream last night about it. If she’s pregnant, she’ll have to take a maternity leave, right? And if she takes a maternity leave, WHO IS GOING TO ADJUST MY FEET? I mean, I do all this walking at my treadmill desk and sometimes I injure myself. 

If you’re rolling your eyes about my stress dream, that is the correct response.

My feelings about my feet have (and should have) no bearing on whether or not my chiropractor chooses to have kids. Not only do I have no control, I also don’t get a vote.

I know this and you know this, but how do we keep ourselves from getting worked up about it?

I think we’re going to have to work on developing our farmer mindset. I was telling a close family friend how worried I was to share some bad news with my dad, but when I told him he took it really well. She said, “Do you think that’s because he’s a farmer? And he's used to things happening that he can't do anything about?”

Yes! That’s exactly why!

Here’s the thing about farming… you invest time, money, and A LOT of sweat into growing and nurturing something, whether it’s a crop or animals. And then that thing you're growing lives outside. OUTSIDE. Where you do not control the weather.

Sometimes it rains too much.

Sometimes it doesn’t rain at all.

Sometimes it freezes in May and you lose your entire apple crop, which is what happened to my friend this year.

There is no point in trying to control the weather.

My dad was telling me a story about how when he was little, they had just finished cutting hay when an unexpected thunderstorm popped up. (Hay needs to cure in the sun for a couple of days before you bind it into bales.) He ran inside and asked his grandpa what they were going to do and my great-grandpa shrugged his shoulders and said, “Let it rain.”

Let it rain.

Because you can’t stop it.

But you can decide whether or not you get all worked up about it.

There’s power in CHOOSING your RESPONSE.

There are so many things we don’t get a vote in, but we always get to choose our response. 

In one of my favorite books, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey says:

“Between stimulus [what happens to us] and response [how we react to what happens to us] there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose.”

Sometimes our responses are habitual. My go-to is indignation… how dare it rain when I planned to sit by my pool today! I thought I ordered sunny and 85!? 

What’s your go-to response?

Do you get frustrated? Or despondent? Do you rage like a storm or crawl under the covers and wait for things to blow over?

Whatever it is, once you realize you have a habit of acting a certain way, you can start to install a new, healthier habit. You can work on cultivating your farmer mindset and reminding yourself…

You can’t control the weather, but you can control your response. Stephen Covey says, “Proactive people can carry their own weather with them.”

Carrying your own weather isn’t going to work for actual farmers (I’m mean, that hay is still going to get wet), but it does work in a lot of situations.

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE

Journal about how you can work on cultivating your farmer mindset. What’s your go-to response when something doesn’t go your way? What can you begin to replace that with?

I know my go-to is anger, so when I feel it, I challenge myself to meditate and release the anger. It’s not easy and I often don’t want to do it, but I’m working on it. How about you? Can you work on it, too?

If I can do it, I believe you can too. We’ve got this!

Love,

Mel

Your 5-Star Life Coach ⭐️

P.S. If you want to work on cultivating better habits, join my DIY coaching program: Unlock Your 5-Star Future. As part of the program, I offer monthly group coaching calls and a private FB group. 

P.P.S. Here’s a picture of me getting ready to sweat my tuchus off. The picture above is my sweet dad. 💖

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