Want healthy relationships? Read this.Dec 05, 2021
It was a special week for me as yesterday was my brother’s wedding. I got to see so many people I love, my heart is overflowing. ❤️ I’m the only married one of my siblings and Heath and I just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this summer. So earlier in the week, my brother asked me if I had any advice. (IF I had any advice… who did he think he was talking to??😂)
Today, I thought I’d share with you what I told him.
1. Don't assume the other person knows what you're thinking.
You know what they say about assumptions... they're not good. Say exactly what you mean, even if it's uncomfortable. Instead of hinting around that you want the other one to do the dishes, just say, "would you please do the dishes?"
2. No, really. The other person cannot read your mind.
They don't know you want them to close the shower curtain or save them some cereal. It's helpful if you start sentences with, "I feel..." Or “It would mean a lot to me…” Or “I’m worried that…” Like, “I’m worried you're mad at me because..."
3. Assume the other person has your best interest at heart.
I know we said assumptions are bad, but always give the other the benefit of the doubt rather than thinking they're trying to upset you on purpose. This will save you from a lot of small annoyances.
4. Say it more than once.
Just like the other person can't read your mind, they're not going to remember everything you say. So the clear communication from #1 is probably going to need to happen multiple times before it sinks in.
5. Don’t try to change the other person.
You agreed to come into this marriage knowing who you each are. Don’t ask the other person to change, but know that over the years you each will change. Your relationship will need to adjust and adapt as you each become slightly different versions of yourself.
6. Remember LOVE is a verb.
Love is one of those words that's a noun and a verb. Even on the days you're not feeling particularly loving towards the other person (Yes, those days will happen. No, it's not a big deal.) you can still act in a loving way. Love, the actions, will lead to love, the feeling.
THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE
Take a moment to reflect on (and maybe journal about) the quality of your relationships. What do you love about your relationships? Where and with whom could you improve your relationship? What might you need to do differently?
You’ve got this!
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